Today I found myself overcome by feelings of fear and doubt.
I questioned God’s leading in my life. Did
the plan I had for my life come from God or from me? I was overwhelmed by
the unknown future. Satan had wormed his
way into my thoughts. He jumped at the chance to confuse me. It was just two
harmless comments. One was a question from a friend, the other a comment from a
stranger who would never know the effect of her words. My mind was sent reeling. So
many thoughts turned in my head. I didn’t know what was right and acceptable
any more. As I spiraled into the abyss of confusion, I felt the Spirit speaking
to my heart. He calmly reminded me not
to worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has
enough trouble of its own. (Mt. 6:34) For those horrifying 3 hours, I had
allowed Satan to have a foothold.
One thing I’ve noticed about God’s working in my life is
that He doesn’t choose to show me what He has planned beyond the next year. He
has worked one year at a time. In
December 2008, God gave me a new career path. In November 2009, He showed me
the company at which I would work. Later He showed me that for the school year
of 2011-2012, I would go with that company to Eastern Europe. This January, He
showed me that I would be spending my next year in Orlando, FL. So far my 4-year plan is going accordingly
for the most part. But did that 4-year plan come from God or from me?
Today, Year 3 of my 4-year plan looked unsure. My next step
was in doubt. Realistically speaking, Year
3 isn’t supposed to start until summer of 2013. That’s over a year away, but
I allowed myself to be overwhelmed by fear. Lately I’ve been anxious to get to
the next step. I don’t like where I am right now, and I just know that the
future is going to be so much better.
God, can’t You just fast forward the next 3 months? The summer is bound
to be better, right?
No, My child.
Everything happens at just the right time. Besides, you are not guaranteed
tomorrow. You are but a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. (James 4:14) God is sovereign so why should I worry?