it's sanctification, baby!

That thought comes to mind often. 

This year has been quite a year for me. I have learned to make a quiet time with the Lord a priority and a lot of things have been changing within me. Moment of honesty: I used to "hide" from the Lord. (Of course, you can never really hide from God.) I avoided reading the Bible because I fully believed Hebrews 4:12 and I knew that it would call for change. I didn't want to change. I went to church every week and got all my Bible teaching from the pastor, taking just enough to get by for the week.

After everything that happened in Slovakia and the move to Hungary, I needed to do something different. Clearly my way of having a quiet time every once in a while wasn't working. Something needed to change. When I moved in with the STINT girls in Budapest, I saw how they read their Bible every day. I was curious. Even after growing up in the church and watching my grandma study the Bible every day, I still hadn't learned the importance of daily reading. (That's probably not true, considering everywhere I turned someone was talking about it.)

Earlier this year, God walked me through Biblical forgiveness. It was amazing. I had never handled a situation in this way before. I wrote out what I wanted to tell them and felt total peace about it. I didn't have any expectations for a response from them; but I knew that in order for full forgiveness to come, I needed to tell them I forgave them. Fortunately, God granted me a godly HR person to go this conversation with me, and through his help I did get a response and even discussed more than I originally planned. I left that Skype call feeling free- free from all bitterness and unforgiveness and free to move on from the situation. I knew that we handled the conflict well and Biblically.

Now God has given me an opportunity to walk through Biblical reconciliation. Like when I first began on the journey to forgiveness a few months ago, I don't know where to start. Pray that I can handle this well. It would be such a beautiful blessing if reconciliation could come. I know God has a plan and brought this person back into my life at this time for a reason.

If you have ever handled reconciliation, how did you do it? Did it go well? Is there anything you would have done differently?

tales from the library

Part of what I do in Budapest is help in the library at the International Christian School of Budapest, especially in the afternoon when the elementary kids come. Yesterday I was checking out books to the 2nd graders. One of the cutest little boys (okay- they're all cute!) brought his books up to the desk. He had a book named Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus. This was our conversation.

Me: That's probably a good idea- not letting a pigeon drive a bus.
2nd grade boy: Why not?
Me: Can you imagine a pigeon driving a bus in Budapest?
Boy: But there are other pigeons that drive a bus. His uncle drives a bus and he's a pigeon.
He shows me the page and reads about the uncle driving the bus.
Me: Well, I don't want to ride in a bus with a pigeon driving. Can you drive a bus?
Boy: Me?
Me: Yes, you.
Boy: Sure. It's easy. You just push the peddle to go. And if there's a turn in the road, you yell out the window and tell the road to turn!

Little boys are the greatest, aren't they?! I love his imagination. These are the types of conversations I have while working in the library. It's the best job!

By the way, I think a pigeon might be able to drive a bus better that some of the bus drivers I've ridden with in Europe. Ha!

go and make disciples

I don't know if it's just the church culture I grew up in or if there has been a real shift in the thoughts and actions of the body of Christ, but as I've gotten older I've heard about a lot of churches and ministries that are grappling with the idea of true discipleship. There seems to be a push toward reaching the unreached, growing them in the faith and then sending them out to do the same. This is the whole idea of Campus Crusade for Christ's ministry. Over the last year I've been learning what it really looks like to work toward student-led ministry. A large part of that is discipleship. Believers need to be taught what it means to be a Christian and then be encouraged to go out and teach others.


My college pastor wrote a blog post about this topic. He raises some interesting questions about how we do ministry among college students. I highly recommend that you read it. It's short but thought provoking.

3 hours

Today I found myself overcome by feelings of fear and doubt. I questioned God’s leading in my life. Did the plan I had for my life come from God or from me? I was overwhelmed by the unknown future.  Satan had wormed his way into my thoughts. He jumped at the chance to confuse me. It was just two harmless comments. One was a question from a friend, the other a comment from a stranger who would never know the effect of her words. My mind was sent reeling. So many thoughts turned in my head. I didn’t know what was right and acceptable any more. As I spiraled into the abyss of confusion, I felt the Spirit speaking to my heart. He calmly reminded me not to worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (Mt. 6:34) For those horrifying 3 hours, I had allowed Satan to have a foothold.

One thing I’ve noticed about God’s working in my life is that He doesn’t choose to show me what He has planned beyond the next year. He has worked one year at a time. In December 2008, God gave me a new career path. In November 2009, He showed me the company at which I would work. Later He showed me that for the school year of 2011-2012, I would go with that company to Eastern Europe. This January, He showed me that I would be spending my next year in Orlando, FL. So far my 4-year plan is going accordingly for the most part. But did that 4-year plan come from God or from me?

Today, Year 3 of my 4-year plan looked unsure. My next step was in doubt. Realistically speaking, Year 3 isn’t supposed to start until summer of 2013. That’s over a year away, but I allowed myself to be overwhelmed by fear. Lately I’ve been anxious to get to the next step. I don’t like where I am right now, and I just know that the future is going to be so much better.

God, can’t You just fast forward the next 3 months? The summer is bound to be better, right?

No, My child. Everything happens at just the right time. Besides, you are not guaranteed tomorrow. You are but a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. (James 4:14) God is sovereign so why should I worry?

restoration

The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them;

    He delivers them from all their troubles.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted

    and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

- Psalm 34:17-18

Though you have made me see troubles,

    many and bitter,

you will restore my life again...

My lips will shout for joy

    when I sing praise to you -

I, whom you have redeemed.

- Psalm 71:20, 23

And the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ,

after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you

and make you strong, firm and steadfast.

To Him be the power for ever and ever. Amen!

- 1 Peter 5:10-11

My 25th Birthday - Slovakia Style

So I turned the big 2-5 a couple weeks ago. For those that know me know I LOVE birthdays. I don't know what it is, but I love being celebrated as well as celebrating others. I feel guilty whenever I forget a friend's bday or miss a new friend's day because no one told me. Some people like to keep to themselves and are not big on partying. But that is totally NOT acceptable when you're with me. I don't like to embarrass people or anything but I do want them to feel special. This is definitely an instance where I treat others how I want to be treated. ;) Since most people aren't like me when it comes to birthdays, on a few occasions I have planned my own birthday party. That was the case this year.


My roommate Miška had just moved in the weekend before my big day and I was still getting to know my team here in Košice, so I took it upon myself to plan a party. We used it as a birthday and housewarming party since most of our friends hadn't been to our apartment yet. To let you know how amazing my roommate and my new friend Zuzka are- on my birthday the girls let me get ready and look beautiful while they decorated with balloons and prepped for the party. Here are some pictures from my wonderful week-long birthday celebration.

On Monday, Miška and I went to our friends Biba and Jarka's apartment. While Miška (R) and Biba (L) worked on something for work, Jarka and I watched the old "Sabrina" movie with Audrey Hepburn and Humphrey Bogart.

On Wednesday a package arrived from Texas. My freshman Bible study leader Laura and her husband Jason sent me a care package with a ton of amazing goodies, including enchilada sauce and salsa from San Antonio. Yum!

On Thursday night I went to dinner with Annette, the girl I stayed with the month of August. We had some great Polish food and ended the evening with Coca-Cola floats.

Saturday night Miška and I went out on the town. First we started at a cafe where I had a delightful cappuccino and she had tea. Then we wandered around town and found a folk band playing at a wine festival. Miška loves folk music and dancing. Somehow we managed to get free wine and cheese. We ended the evening with dancing. Nobody else was dancing but we didn't care. The picture above was taken after our fun hour of dance.

Sunday the 25th was the big day. 25 on the 25th! This is Zuzka. She made me a special cheesecake with chocolate sauce in the shape of a heart. I love this girl!

These are 3 of my favorite people in Košice- (from R to L) Zuzka, Miška and Biba

I'm wearing the scarf they & some of the others got me. Ready for the cold weather now!

These are just some of the birthday week adventures I had and, man, were they fun! To a fabulous year of being 25!

Necessary Learning Curve

I wanted to take a moment and apologize to anyone I offended in my newsletter. My comments about the Catholic church were my own opinion and I realize now that I should have kept them to myself. I apologize. 

It's my first year of full-time ministry, y'all. There are going to be a lot of mistakes made by me. I'm just beginning to learn what it means to be a foreign missionary. I hope you didn't expect this year to go smoothly for me, because it's not happenin'. Let just say, I thought support raising was a faith builder.... We haven't even begun to plan this year's ministry and I already feel like a fish out of water. Do not get me wrong. I love Slovakia, and I can already tell that I am going to love living in Košice (pronounced Ko-SHEETS-say). But there have already been times where I'm sitting in the middle of a group not having any idea what is being said because it's all in Slovak. The team has been great about translating for me, but it is still very hard being the only American on the team. I understand why most stinters go overseas with a team.

Anyway.... All of that to say I appreciate your patience, grace and encouragement. They are all necessary this year. Again I apologize for any offensive comments. It's a learning experience, people. a BIG one!

visual proof I'm still alive- HELLO TEXAS!